This is going to be one of my blogs where I am going to just ramble and be all over the place. Most of it will probably not make sense, and I may jump from topic to topic. But I just feel angry and I am not sure if I am angry at the situation or the company but I just feel angry. So this October we were going to be filming our big movie which I was really excited about. I was hitting the gym, eating right in order to get prepared for the next movie. Then today I get a call from Michael saying that the way the movie was working out i wouldn't really have a part unless I bottom for Ray Stay or Jimmy. Reason I am angry #1 If this is a huge production why is it that I wouldn't have a substantial role to begin with so that I could be a part of the movie??? I feel angry because looking back at it i wasn't originally cast in "The Intern' They literally called me last minute to ask if I would do it. I had no time to prepare which means I didn't look my best but was still decent and I gave a good performance. When I did "Auditions 18" and "Welcome to Paradise" again I was asked like a week and half prior to the shoot and I was away in Colombia for a whole month before that. DO you have any idea what they serve in Colombia, Let me tell you its not the healthiest, but sure taste real good.But hey I made the scene work and I was also there working as a PA and I busted my ass working 11 hour days and then having to do a scene and making it look like I had all the energy in the world. Ok whatever Jonathan get over it. SO you must be thinking ' Hey Jonathan why don't you just bottom for Ray Star or Jimmy. I dont want to Bottom for Ray Star for personal reasons that I dont want to discuss. If I am going to be in a film I want it to be the best it can possibly be and I don't want to do a shity performance. Besides he has a really big dick and I wouldn't be able to handle that buts that beside's the point. So its a NO for Ray Star. Now you say "why not Jimmy"? Well beside's Jimmy also having a huge cock that I wouldn't be able to take he happens to be Straight. I have met Jimmy and he is a nice guy but you know what I am kind of over this whole "Str8" bois in porn who don't do shit but stick a dick in an ass. When I was filming in Hungry this past summer I had this beautiful scene partner who was gorgeous. Tall, built, and just sexy. Only problem was that he was "Str8". he didn't suck dick, he didn't lick ass I basically had to do all the work!! The scene went ok but I was thinking. these "str8" bois want to work in our community while offering nothing but maybe a big dick or a cute face. I am so sick and tiered of this "str8" boi fascination. I feel likes its a form of self hated in our community. I have friends who get all excited when they claim to have seduced a 'str8" guy. So fucking what if he is "str8" just be happy you got to tap a hot piece of meat and not because he claimed to be "str8". Ill bottom for a "str8" boy but that's only if they Bottom for me first. If You want to be a part of this industry "Str8" bois, then fucking take a cock in your mouth and ass. Going back to the roles . I don't know what role Jimmy has in the film but why cant I take over his role? I mean I am an exclusive for them and i should have a substantial role in a large production. This could be a business move in the sense that there might be a bigger following for him since he does have a larger cock then me, but i don't know if that's the reason. All I know is that I just feel upset because I was really excited about the new film and then I just got left out. I also could have used the money but I am sticking to my principles of NO Ray Star or "Str8" bois who don't toss there ass in the air. The bigger point would be is that i would want to be considered for a better role and have a part written for me. I don't need to be the star of the movie but I want something that is more then just some guy you pick up at some bar, club, or alley. I might be blowing this out of proportion and being a prick but that's how I feel at the moment. ooh just remembered something else. Hustlaball just past a few weeks ago and again I wasn't asked till the last minute if i would come up on stage with the company. but I had already promised to go up with Fabscouts and they asked me almost a month before the actual event. It just goes back to what I was saying. I feel like I have worked hard and make the best effort to join all the events they host. and to feel like your the last thing in there mind just sucks. Or at least that how its feels like right now. N-e-Wayz I needed to get that off my chest and I am sorry if I rambled and if Idon't make sense.
I want to make it clear that I am not trying to trash the company or Michael , but just saying how I felt at the time. Good news is that I am feeling better:o)
May have over reacted just a bit. but i still stand strong on the whole gay for pay thing. everything else is fine